I grew up playing the piano. I don’t remember why I started, if it was my wish, or my parents. I do remember enjoying it as a part of my childhood. My various piano teachers remain in my foggy memories as positive influences pushing me to practice and be my best. There was a recital I completely blanked on what I was to play but I survived. I played Chariots of Fire for my dad often, Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler for my mom. And I mostly played my favorite songs for myself.

I continued to take lessons into high school. I had a serious car accident when I was sixteen years old which caused a brain bruise. After the car accident I went to sit down at the piano and I couldn’t play. I couldn’t make sense of the notes. I felt such despair but I was also struggling with math and was repeatedly told I was lucky to be alive so I quickly put my despair deep inside and focused on relearning math and healing. I never played again even though my childhood piano moved with me into my adult life, to a couple different homes. I never sat down to play nor did I acknowledge the feelings that I had buried.

When we we were told to stay home; I struggled with our world being turned upside down. I turned to making music to cope. We no longer have my childhood piano but we did have a keyboard I had bought the kids hoping to inspire some musical interest. I downloaded a piano app and started playing again on the keyboard. Instantly, I was drawn back into the world of piano music. The app enabled me to quickly learn some chords to my favorite songs. But that wasn’t quite satisfying. I called my friend, Ellen from Hartland Piano, and the next day she had a piano delivered to me to rent. She understood. She knows how music can move the soul, can heal, and awaken the mind, body and spirit. Eventually I abandoned my app for lessons and I have been playing daily since.

But this isn’t just a story about me playing the piano it is a story about the ability to heal the brain and the plasticity of the brain. It is a story of hope. I recently found my childhood music stashed in a corner of our basement storage. I really can not believe that I did not throw it away in one of our many moves. It is the exact music that I could not play after my car accident. I can play it now and I can not put into words the pure joy playing those childhood songs brings to me. My car accident was 29 years ago and I believe I am finally truly recovered from it. Playing the piano again has re-engaged my brain in impactful ways and I truly feel it has helped lift a fog. Not only have I regained my piano skill but I have let go of the emotional despair that was tucked so neatly away. The power of music and the power of acknowledging our feelings are worth paying attention to. The recent work of many scientists confirming the plasticity of the brain is a message of hope for all of us. To learn more about brain plasticity check out psychologist Dr. Shauna Shapiro’s work. Brain plasticity means we can unlearn bad habits and we can instill new healthy brain synapsis. We can be exactly who we want to be, it just takes practice. As Dr. Shapiro shares, “What we practice, we grow.”