I did not plan to be a homeschool mom this past school year. It just happened and I am grateful it did because it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I applaud all the parents who have found balance and success in homeschooling. I, for sure, did not achieve balance, and success is so hard to measure. 

As a homeschool mom I find myself in a conflicted state of being concerned that I am not doing enough academically, loving the freedom of homeschooling and yearning for time alone. Austin claims its been a success and I am afraid that is because I am not a strict enough teacher. I am a bit too flexible allowing animal projects, fish tanks and a pond dominate our curriculum.

One of the highlights of the semester was a pond Austin built all by himself. He wrote a proposal, presented his plan with a cost analysis, purchased the supplies, dug the hole, carefully placed the rocks, and of course filled it with water and fish. It now sets a tone of tranquility at our front door and reminds me that life is for creating not always for following the mold.

Another highlight of the semester were the bonus one on one times with Austin’s Grandma B and Grandpa Bird. They graciously gave their time to our homeschool adventure taking Austin on outings that included many trips to the fish stores and a couple museums. They love being a part of his projects and share in his love of animals. Follows is a photo of Grandma B and Austin having a chat while holding our baby chicks. 

We ended up homeschooling because Austin has been asking to be homeschooled for years. We took a long trip that was already disrupting this school year so Austin convinced us it was the perfect year to try it. I recall Austin’s request to be homeschooled starting specifically in second grade after his dear Papa (grandfather) passed away. Austin’s grandfather had been a large presence in his life full of laughter and fun. Austin’s early childhood included many golf cart rides for donuts with this jolly soul so much like Santa; he actually did play one on many occasions. When he died it was a lot for Austin’s curious sensitive mind to understand. I believe that is when Austin’s struggle with anxiety began. After his grandfather’s death Austin did not want me out of his sight. Anxiety landed deep in his belly with the reality that we can lose someone we love from this world. Austin changed from a curious child to a worried child. We did our best trying to talk openly about emotions and life and death.

But every school morning was a battle for Austin. He had tummy aches, head aches, foot aches, you name it; it ached and he didn’t want to go to school. We pressed on because we didn’t really know what else to do. This year our extended trip and the resulting missing school did not help the situation. We were now a couple years into this struggle that was managed but never went away leading to the development of our concerns for his happiness and well-being. We finally said, “We hear you Austin. We are willing to give homeschooling a try.”

I wish I could report to the state, except when you homeschool you have to report nothing in the state of Wisconsin, that his anxiety is better. He is able to be alone with a bit more ease, he goes out to check on our chickens, bunnies and ducks on his own when necessary though he much prefers company. Our mornings are much easier for all. But his anxiety still appears and can derail him for a couple minutes, and then he recovers. We didn’t expect homeschooling to cure his anxiety and it hasn’t. Homeschooling has provided him the time and opportunity to pursue his interests and that has increased his curiosity and his happiness. He certainly prefers our backyard for his classroom, the challenge for me is to find balance. 

The only thing I know for sure is the bonus time together is a gift and our animals have never been so well loved. 

This picture captures Austin and Grampa Bird before they head out to golf for gym class. They did not take the chicken with them golfing this time.