The holidays are coming which can be a time of joy and sadness. According to the commercials it is THE time of happiness. But for many reasons happiness at the holidays can be elusive.

There are happiness experts and plenty of research and books on how to be happy, my personal favorite is Shawn Achor. He states that happiness is a choice and just like we have to excercise our body, we need to excercise our mind and establish habits that cultivate happiness. He talks about gratitude, journaling, meditating, excercise and service to others being key habits that are worth focusing on if you want to create your own happiness. He states, “Happiness is not the belief that we don’t need to change; it is the realization that we can.”

I appreciate his point that it is up to us to own our happiness. I am all in on positive psychology and choosing happiness. But I think in our quest for happiness there is a tendency to not allow any sadness. I think true happiness comes through the realization that everything in life comes and goes. Happiness, sadness, good fortune, bad luck - everything in life ebs and flows. I think when we truly realize this flow in life we can live in flow and reach our fullest potential and enjoy the holidays for what they are - a time to gather together.

After a recent meditation I wrote a poem for sadness. I wish you happiness today and this holiday season but let’s not banish sadness. There is a time and place for both. 

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sweet sadness  

Oh sweet sadness that hovers in the corner of my heart, why are you here?

My life is blessed, I have so much to be grateful for. Why sadness?

Oh sweet sadness that is always there like a cloud. Why have you made a home in my heart? I feel like you have always been there, though I try not to see you.

Maybe instead of fearing you sweet sadness I should hold you and treasure you, for it is because of you that I pause in reverence of a sunset, it is because of you I listen to the sad slow songs, it is because of you I relate and care so for my friend that is hurting, it is because of you I am a kind gentle soul.

So sweet sadness I will no longer try to banish you from my heart.

Instead I will hold you for it is you that gives me compassion.

Oh sweet sadness you can stay.