I Wrote a Novel. It’s Published.

Two and a half years ago, I shared here that I’d written my first novel. At the time, I was searching for a literary agent who believed in my story and could help bring it into the world.

I never found that agent.

You may remember that my novel was originally titled DNF (Did Not Finish), a familiar term in ski racing. Along the way, the title changed to I Am Fine. The story is still rooted in the world of ski racing, but it’s really about so much more—motherhood, ambition, grief, and the stories we tell ourselves to keep going.

I queried many agents. Their rejections often disrupted my day, taking all the wind out of my sails. Sometimes I received an encouraging personal response. More often, a form rejection or no response at all. It’s a tough industry.

Along the way, I continued learning. I participated in online writing workshops and an in-person workshop through Aspen Words. I received thoughtful feedback from published authors, fellow writers, my parents, and dear friends. Each experience taught me something new about writing and about myself.

And I suffered from imposter syndrome. Often.

I’m an avid reader, and anytime I read a great book, I find myself doubting my own writing. Most recently, while reading Barbara Kingsolver’s newest novel Partita, I wondered what made me think I could write a novel.

Eventually, I shake it off and remind myself that comparison is a thief of joy. I can only focus on writing the best novel I can. And keep going.

Recently, I realized I needed to let go of seeking someone else’s approval of my writing. An agent, a publishing deal, a glowing review—none of those things make me a writer.

I write. I am a writer.

After a long journey, and with the support of family and dear friends, I decided to self-publish.

I wish it wasn’t through Amazon. I recognize the challenges Amazon presents to the independent bookstores I love. But they make publishing easy and free. So, I did it.

My novel, I Am Fine, is now available on Amazon.

I took my first creative writing class 25 years ago in Chicago. The professor told us to write about our greatest fear and write what we know.

That’s what I did.

I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. And life continues to inspire me to write.

I’m writing a new novel about hiking, unexpected connections, and how the people we meet along the way can change the course of our lives.

I write for self-reflection, connection, and to inspire conversation. I hope you enjoy reading. And maybe you’ll be inspired to write your own story, too.