A Lesson in Acceptance

All of our kids teach us different lessons. Our Sweet Birdie is teaching me acceptance. My meditation practice teaches me to be present and not get lost in runaway thought trains. Birdie provides me the opportunity to practice that. I’ve shared in a previous post about Birdie’s first seizure and I’ve struggled with if and how to share our update. But the reality is I can’t write about anything else until I write about this. So I share for me to process and I share for those who care to know. 

We had hoped Birdie’s seizure was just a fluke, something she would out grow. The doctor said for her to take medicine for two years and then they would do another EEG and hopefully that would be normal and this bump in the road would be over. I liked that plan. Well the time came for the test this past week. And due to a minor seizure recently the doctor recommended a 24 hour EEG to get a really good understanding of what is happening in Birdie’s brain.

This last week during her Spring Break we checked into Children’s Hospital for an overnight to do the test. They glued 26 leads into her hair and forehead covered them in gauze and connected them to a computer. She could eat anything and play but she was confined to her hospital room. We filled the little room with all of us doing what we could to distract her and ourselves. They flashed a bunch of lights at her and made her do heavy breathing trying to provoke a seizure so they could actually see her brain activity during a seizure. They gathered the data they needed thankfully with out a seizure happening.

Everyone was so friendly, genuinely present caring for us. It is a top notch hospital no doubt. But they absolutely need to revamp their food. How these hospitals are missing the boat on nutrition being the cornerstone of health makes me crazy. But they have the patient care down, and Birdie actually even had a little bit of fun. 

The EEG unfortunately was abnormal again showing she isn’t growing out of it yet. So she is officially diagnosed with Epilepsy. I did not know anyone with this diagnosis until I met Austin’s second grade teacher who is now Birdie’s teacher. I am so thankful for her because not only is she an amazing teacher, she gives me comfort knowing Birdie is ok with her and she is an example of a beautiful life with Epilepsy. If you have to bear a health burden in life Epilepsy appears not too bad day to day, but there is this dark cloud aspect to it that hovers - the fear and uncertainty of never knowing when a seizure may happen. 

And that is why this past week Acceptance essentail oil has been my oil of choice for meditation and to wear as a perfume. The blend was specifically created to help stimulate the mind to open up and accept new things in life, enabling us to reach toward our higher potential. It isn’t about stagnation it is about reality and moving forward. 

We still have hope Birdie could out grow it someday but for now this is our health burden. There are plenty of them out there. And of course it could be worse and it could be better, but in the end all we can do is accept it for what it is. The questions still spin in my head wondering what caused it. I’m not sure I will ever get the answers I am looking for so at least I will keep trying to feed her less sugar and more vegetables. And of course we will just keep showering her with love, our sweet Birdie. 

And live. Yes she will always wear a life jacket in the lake and we will always make sure we have emergency medicine with her but we are still going to live, because that is what she is all about. Birdie loves to live large with gratitude!